When you know it's worth it

I struggle constantly with whether I'm doing this parenting thing the "right" way. I want to do all the things my parents did "right" and improve upon the things that could have been better (at no fault of their own... they... like me... didn't inherit some magical "How to be a Good Parent" handbook). And, you know... I struggle with questions and doubts almost daily... Am I spending enough time with them? Am I showing them that I love their mother dearly and that her needs come first? Am I being firm with discipline while giving grace when grace is warranted? Am I passing down "character" traits to them that I want them to "inherit"? Am I teaching them and showing them by example what it means to be a "Christian" and that it's not a list of rules but, rather, living by grace through faith? Ahh... all these doubts, fears and realities make me second-guess myself all the time....

Well, today just before dinner.... Reagan said something very sweet to me. I've mentioned before that I whistle all the time. Anyway, Reagan said (about the weekend Kelly and I went to NYC)... "Daddy, when Uncle Aaron was here and you were gone, I liked when he whistled, because it made me think of you."

AHHH.... moments like that make you feel like you are doing something right and all of the hard work is worth it.... even if it only lasts until she pitches a fit over dinner.

OK... completely unrelated topic... well, it's related because it deals with Reagan. I wrote a few months ago that Reagan taught herself to read (yet another shameless link to a former blog entry). Well, today, she checked out a Junie B. Jones book at the library... she was very excited about this book because she read one that her cousin Caleb had (there are lots of them, apparently... kind of like a "Sweet Valley High" for 2nd graders) and it's a "chapter" book. Anyway... she read it today... the WHOLE stinking book.... AT NAP (or what we call "rest") TIME!!!! The whole thing! All 71 pages.... she just turned 5. So cute. Kelly had her call me at work and tell me that she read the whole thing.... and, my initial thought is that she just scanned it and didn't really "retain" anything... but... that's not the case at all... She gave me the entire blow-by-blow account of Junie B. Jones and her shenanigans. She's so smart... I often tell Kelly how I was in the "Dolphins" in first grade and then "Eagles" in second grade... they were the dumbest kids at reading... and I was glumped in there with them.... So, to tie this whole thing in with the "When you know it's worth it" title of the blog:

Knowing my daughter is not headed for the same mistakes of my youth... that makes it all worth it.

That's it for now... Kelly is watching the Bachelor right now on Tivo and I'm trying really hard... really, really hard not to make a smart ass comment such as the one saved for posterity here (the fourth and final link to a previous blog entry). Must. Resist. Urge.