Assorted thoughts from the weekend:
(1) The next Yoko..?? Please, Lord!!!! It pains me to admit it... but the Cowboys have done what the Redskins have been incapable of doing for the last decade... and that is build a legitimate team capable of winning the Super Bowl. And it kills me that they've got Captain America (aka Tony Romo) who sprints up and down the field like a school girl that got stung by a bee after every touchdown. But, the truth is... with him at QB (assuming he keeps playing like the second coming of Roger Staubach), they've got a chance to be the team to beat for many years to come in the NFC East. That is why I was delighted to see at yesterdays Philly/Cowboys game that Romo is apparently dating Jessica Simpson (seriously, how could I not know that, as the cameras showed more shots of her in the luxury suite than the actual game). With that obvious distraction, the Cowboys lost. So, I will now pray this prayer at night: "Dear Lord.... Please make Jessica Simpson the next Yoko. Please use Jessica... to distract the Cowboys from greatness... to make her 'break up the band'... just the way you used Yoko to break up the Beatles. Amen."
(2) Give me a microphone in a crowded room... and I'll probably do the Tom Hanks Saturday Night Live "CHECK! CHECK!.... SYBALANCE.... CHECK!" gag. Few people ever get the joke or the reference... but I'll crack myself up along with the one or two other people who know what I'm doing. So...it's worth doing.
Now, if I'm in private and no one is around, and the mic is live.... I would probably say "I've got a fever... and the only prescription is more cowbell..." Again, cracking up myself (though I'm sure a few of you understand that reference). The other thing I would probably do is get my rock star on and say: "Welcome to the jungle baby! You're gonna die!" Which is why I cracked up when I read this story. I can just picture the poor old school teacher with the bun in her hair locking herself in the art supply closet in pure unadulterated fear. Classic.
(3) Right at the start of the third quarter in a must-win game for the Redskins, the power went out. Normally this woudn't be a problem (well, it would be an inconvenience... I don't like to miss any of the game)... I'd just hop in the car and hit the bar around the corner... Well, in this case, the baby (Will) was down stairs with me so that I could give him his late (11 p.m.) bottle. In my psycho mindframe, I briefly (for like a millisecond) considered whether it was possible to take Will with me. Thankfully, sanity prevaled and I realized the ridiculousness of such a thought (that and that power came back on).
(4) You know something is genuinely funny when you've watched something a bunch and then you laugh at it again the next time you see it. In honor of that sentiment, I present to you Miss Teen South Carolina:
Those poor "U.S. American" kids that can't afford...such as... maps and stuff.
On that note... gotta run...
2 comments:
Ever get a date to the dance with the "catch" of the school only to get there and have him/her dump you for the next best thing? Well that's what happened to me this weekend!
That pretty little school girl named Tony Romo cost me a fantasy championship this year by laying an egg against the Eagles with a meager 3 fantasy points and dealing me the loss, leaving me 3.5 points shy of my opponent. He brought me to the dance this season by putting up 15-20 fantasy points per game only to drop me in the playoffs like Carrie Underwood and Sophia Bush on a bad hair day. Well, now he's onto something more his speed, best of luck with Jessica Simpson!
You write very well.
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