Sunday, August 26, 2007

Difference between guys and girls #1

Kelly and I live within a few minutes walk of the shores of the Potomac. There is a great overlook that has got to have a good 60-80 foot dropoff.

So, now imagine Kelly and I standing atop this cliff on the Potomac and looking out over this majestic view... I just know what she's thinking.

She's reveling in the glory of what God has created. She taking in all the sights. The sound of the rushing water. The colors of the sky. The lush forest that surrounds us. She'll probably spot some of the wildlife....perhaps a squirrel jumping from tree to tree, a deer looking for berries or an eagle gliding effortlessly across the sky. In her silence, I know she is just absorbing the majesty of the situation.

I, on the other hand, I'm consumed by a desire to spit off the cliff. Guys... YOU know what I'm talking about. I simply cannot enjoy the situation until I've either spit or thrown a rock off the cliff into the water to make a really big splash. Once I've got that out of my system... then -- and only then can I start to enjoy my surroundings. That is how guys are hardwired by the Almighty.

So, today, my son had to go the bathroom really bad. Unfortunately, all bathrooms at the in-laws were occupied. I figured we would just wait at first, but then he went into an all out pee pee dance, so I asked him if he wanted to go in the "grass" potty (knowing full well he wanted to -- because, let's be honest....few things are more compelling to a boy than the "grass" potty).

Of course, being a guy, he immediately said yes.

So, I rush him out the backdoor onto the deck to let him pee in the grass. But, then, as I'm taking him out there, my natural tendencies take over and I think ... "wouldn't it be cool to pee off the top rail of the deck?"

So, I ask Luke "Do you want to go on the grass potty from the top of the deck?"

Of course, once again, being a guy, he is physically incapable of saying no to such an opportunity (For in a man's life, you just inherently know that the opportunity to pee off the top of the deck may, perhaps, never present itself again... and, you know... carpe diem).

So, I hold him up on the highest point of the deck and he lets it fly.

And you know what? He loved it. He giggled while he was doing it.

And I was cracking up, too.

So, I ask everyone the following questions given this situation. You are standing atop a cliff, overlooking the Potomac. No one is around.

(1) First, state your gender


(2) Looking out over the cliff, do you:
a) Just take it all in and enjoy
b) spit
c) immediately look around for a rock to throw and throw it
d) look for the biggest rock and throw it as high as you can to "make a really big splash"
e) none of the above

if you select "none of the above"... please elaborate.

2 comments:

Justin PRather said...

(e)

i'd probably try to pee. if that was impossible... i'd look for a large rock.

Tony said...

(c) Male... actually I'd try and see if I could skip the rock from that high up.