You gotta fight for your right....to Potty!

Tonight after 10 years of marriage... I finally found the approved time for me to take a swampy... yes.. that's right... the approved time. Here is a sample conversation that could happen at various times of the day...

Time: Morning Before Work
Me: "I need to take a dump"
Kelly: "Do you have to? We barely get to see you in the morning."

Time: On visit home during lunch break
Me: "I really have to poop..."
Kelly: "Awww... do you have to now... you never come home for lunch... I don't want you to spend it in the bathroom..."

Time: Immediately After work
Me: "I've got to ride the porcelain pony..."
Kelly: "Babe! Do you have to go now? You just got home and I need to cook dinner."

Time: Right after putting kids to bed
Me: "Time to drop the kids off at the pool... gotta go"
Kelly: "Do you have to go now? Why did you wait until now... we just put the kids to bed."

OK... you probably think I'm joking... I'm not. If it were up to Kelly... I'd probably be dead by now of some disease caused by not doing what you need to do... I really can't win... she wants me to go at work like "every other man does"... but... I'm just not an office pooper... I like the privacy of my own home. So... that leaves me to have to do my business at home...

Well.. anyway.... here's how the conversation went tonight:

Time: Kelly went to bed early
Kelly: "I'm going to bed."
Me: "I took a nap today, so I'm not tired at all... I'm going to take a swampy."
Kelly: "OOOOOHHH. That's when you can go! After I go to bed!"

Hold the phone... did I just hear her say that was the perfect time... didn't catch any grief? It can't be... certainly I heard her wrong.... but still when I gotta go... I'm going to go... that's right... I'm going to fight for my right to Potty... and I'm not going to apologize for it. Sometimes... you just gotta man up.