The Night That the Lights Went Out in Leesburg

So, we're putting the kids to bed the other night and then... bam... lights go out. Our entire block was without electricity.

Kelly, hating anything that she can't control, immediately starts stressing out.

I, on the other hand, got strangely giddy and was excited to see how I would navigate this temporary obstacle.

You see, as a man living with modern day conveniences... life can kind of grow mundane. We are no longer the "hunters" or the pioneers. We have become diffident and aloof to needs. If we need food, we go the Wegman's. If we need to go somewhere, we hop in our car. It's just too easy, too simple and, quite frankly, has turned a generation of men into compliant and effiminate lap dogs... but I digress...

Anyway... so... I'm excited. I immediately start rounding up flashlights... which consist mostly of toys from my kids.... and then... I remember a "special" flash light I tucked away for a "dire" situation such as this. It's a wind-up flashlight that needs no batteries!!!!! You just wind up and you never run of light! How incredibly freaking awesome is that? Oh, and it's also an FM radio. Seriously. It can also replace your mom's Thighmaster... but... that's for another day's discussion. Anyway, to continue painting this visual image, here is what the flashlight/radio looked like:


Okay... pretty cool... right? I'm completely pumped to use the wind up flashlight and am so fired up to show it to Kelly.

So, I take it downstairs .... and wind it up as fast as I can...

RRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr....... the windup flashlight/radio roared with delight and then output a faint blue light....

"What the heck is that noise?" Kelly asked

"It's a flashlight that doesn't use batteries... you just wind it up..." I tell her excitedly... fully expecting her to join me in rejoicing

"That is the STUPIDEST thing I've ever seen...why do we have that? We've got about 15 flashlights and plenty of batteries.." she said

Well, she has a point... but, she's not understanding my inner survivalist need. So then... I think of the one thing I can think of to make her realize the value of a windup flashlight/radio... and I ask her...

"What would Bear Grylls do? Take the windup flashlight or the one with batteries?"

The answer was clear at that point... but she was still unimpressed... she continued with her vitriol and spite of my beloved windup flashlight.

Well, anyway... we DID have better lights... and we didn't need the radio part of it... but I was determined to show it's usefulness. So, after putting the kids to bed, I had to take a swampy badly... so... I insisted on taking the windup flashlight in the bathroom with me.

And there, behind a closed bathroom door... in pitch black... I turned on the radio and flashlight and RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr cranked away while I rode the porcelain pony.

I guess I showed her ;-)