The not so usual vows...

When my wife and I got married a few years ago... we made the usual vows to one another... you know "to have and to hold, till death do us part" etc, etc, etc. Both of our parents provided a good example to us of how to make a marriage work. However, we also sought out wise counsel from those we respected and who's marriages we wished to emulate. We sought out the wisdom of the Bible and what God had to say about marriage. And, some of the other stuff, we just made up on our own... but here's some of what we came up with that might not necessarily be "the norm" by worldly standards. So, here it goes...

• One Checking Account: I read a recent story on "how to make marriages work" and the author strongly advocated having seperate checking accounts. I disagree. From Day 1, I have turned over the finances to Kelly and she has handled it well. We don't have "allowances" or "personal money" or anything like that...She has complete freedom to buy whatever she wants and needs... but this only works because I can completely trust her not to go crazy. Reagan (my 4 year-old daughter) recently picked up on this arrangement and asked Kelly: "Why does Daddy work all day and all we do is buy?"
• Never talk bad about the other to anyone: Again, counter-intuitive by worldly standards. Most would tell you that you need an "outlet" to vent your frustrations with one another. This is nonsense... if it's worth complaining about to someone else, it's worth working it out together...
• Avoid one-on-one situations with members of the opposite sex: In my line of work, the "working lunch" is an absolute necessity. Sometimes, you just need to meet over lunch to maximize your time. My policy is...and always will be that, unless it's completely unavoidable, never to go to lunch or travel just one-on-one w/a member of the opposite sex. Now, I'm flexible on this... if it's an 80 year old grandmother, I'm inclined to bend my rules a bit. But I've got no business going to lunch with a 20-something girl just out of college. And if it's necessary, I just bring someone else along. Some will scoff at this... and I understand that... but, this works for us. I've committed that if I ever get to the point in my life that I have a secretary, I'm going to make sure she's a total double-bagger (so that I don't ever get hit with an "ism" lawsuit... a disclaimer: I will hire said double-bagger as long as she is just as qualified as the other candidates.... either that or I'll just hire a dude).
• Keep me cool: Lastly...and this is really the reason I'm writing this blog.... one vow we took was for Kelly to keep me cool. I had seen too many guys get married and then, somehow, they get stuck in a rut. A decade passes, and they are still wearing jean shorts and crew socks with a tucked in collared shirt. Actually... that look was never...EVER cool... so.. bad example. Anyway, I told Kelly to "don't let me wear what I want to...MAKE me wear what is cool." And this has worked well. I have evolved from a flannel wearing college student of the early 90's to suit wearing urban businessman of 2007. The key is to remain well-dressed without being overly trendy to the point of looking like some guy that could be named Skylar. Thus far, the transition has been seamless and Kelly has never let me down. However, recently, I have cause for concern. While watching the CMA's (yes, we are country music fans) the other day, Kenny Chesney (what is it about him that I dislike so much?) came out singing a song in what can be best described as middle school wear, circa 1988. Seriously, he was wearing poofy pleated pants (no doubt made by 'Bugle Boy' or...possibly Jimmy Z -- remember those?) and a tucked in shirt. And, I made a comment... something like... what is he wearing??? And, Kelly said "... I don't think it's that bad." UH OH! Red Flag. Sirens start going off in my head. Kelly is my fashion compass...and something has gone haywire with it. I think it is just temporary... I'll blame the pregnancy for this glitch. However...make me this promise... If you ever see me in said jean shorts, crew socks and tucked-in collared shirt.... say something.