Like Father, Like Son

Luke has really been into scratching himself in that place that all guys seem to like scratching themselves. Well, I learned long ago that Kelly HHHHHHHHHhaaates that, so I keep that as an after hours activity (as in, after Kelly has retired for the evening) or just don't do it at all. Well.. Luke is young and hasn't learned his mothers' disdain for this activity... and just does it all the time. Seriously... all the time... it's like he has some jock itch form of Tourette's.

And, my theory is to just tell him to stop... I mean... you don't want to scare him and tell him it's going to fall off if he keeps it up or anything along those lines.... Eventually, he'll just stop... there's only about 10% of the male population that continues this scratching practice in public through adulthood (you know who I'm talking about.... the salesman that comes into your office that grabs his junk obsessively as if it's some kind of nervous tick.... err... at least you hope it's a nervous tick)...

So, tonight when we're putting them to bed, he rips off his clothes and immediately starts scratching himself... well... you know... there. Anyway... Kelly is just exasperated and says: "Luke! Stop scratching your penis! Unless you are in the bathroom... DON'T DO IT!" Now, I'm not sure why it's allowed in the bathroom and not elsewhere... you'll have to ask Kelly about that one... I'm just reporting on the facts here...

So, being the well-behaved boy that he is, he stops and simply says: "OK, Mommy" and gets ready to read his bedtime story.

Kelly then begins reading to Reagan and Luke a story in the hallway (just outside of their rooms).

In the middle of one of the stories, Luke stops Kelly and says: "Mommy... can you pause the story... I need to go to the bathroom to scratch my penis."

Ahh... so proud... we're raising such a well-behaved (and very literal) young man! (And... for the record...I'm dreading the google hits that this story is going to get)

Reagan's First Day of Kindergarten

Hmmm.... not real sure where to start. Today was Reagan's first day of Kindergarten. Naturally, this meant that this morning was a big hot mess complete with lots of tears. Kelly was... how can I put this... well, a basket case (no worries...much like the peasant who was turned into a newt in Monty Python and the Holy Grail, she "got better"). Luke was not happy at all and was crying because he did not want his sister to go to school (Reagan and Luke have a very unique and sweet bond). And Will cries whenever Reagan or Luke cries (for real cries). So, the only members of the Faircloth family handling the situation like men were me and Reagan. Now, don't get me wrong... I felt a range of emotions and was worried/happy/sad/proud of my little girl... whatever you want to call it. I don't think the English language has a word that encompasses what that emotion is. But whatever it's called... I was dealing with it. But the difference between Kelly (as a woman) and me (as a guy) is that I have the unique ability to not indulge those emotions to the point of tears flowing from my eyes.

So...Girls/Ladies of the world...there's a takeaway to this story...and it's how to properly deal with times like these... and, it's real simple to do. You take any emotion you're feeling. Any pain... any concern... or any worry... and you package it up in this nice virtual ball... and then you punt it as far away as you can. That way, you never have to deal with it. And, let me tell you... it works. You should try it sometime.

Now, on a serious note... If I can, for just a brief moment, retrieve that package that I've punted to the far corners of my brain... I worry about her. I want her to make friends. I worry about kids being mean to her. I want her to do well at school. I worry about what she'll learn. I want her to use the gluesticks properly and not eat the paste (or rub it on her face like Mrs. Lippy in Billy Madison)....anyway... you get the idea. So many things to worry about that threaten to make me prematurely grey.... So, I'm just not going to sweat it... I'm going back to punting.

I love my miniature HDTV

I always wanted a big screen to watch my Redskins games on (and any other sports, for that matter). A couple of years ago, Kelly gave me permission to go look at them. Naturally, that was all the go-ahead I needed and I bought one. Once I picked Kelly's mouth off the floor after coming home with the new monster TV, she eventually grew to love it. Now, though I bought the big screen to watch sports on... I also intended to watch other stuff on it. Why then, now a full 2 years later, do I watch other shows on a super-small mini version of my big screen...

Well... let me explain... it goes back to the "if you give a mouse a cookie, he's going to want a glass of milk theory"... so... basically.... once I got the HDTV I needed to get the HD service to my house. And then once I got the HDTV service, it's only an extra $5 a month for the HD DVR... so, you've got to have that as well... right? Well, of course. Except, I overlooked one small detail. I never anticipated Kelly falling head over heels in love with the DVR.

For those that don't have DVR.... it is a MUST HAVE... that much is certain. Both Kelly and I can't imagine life without it. You can pause live TV, skip the commercials, record your favorite shows and watch them on your time... it's been great. The only problem is that you don't have unlimited storage... you have a finite amount....about 100 hours.... and this is where Kelly's personality traits come into play.

You see... Kelly is an order-freak, clean-freak... whatever you want to call it. So, just as she obsessively keeps the house in order (for which I... a reformed slob.... am eternally grateful), she is always obsessively clearing up the DVR. Adding shows, deleting shows, setting preferences... you get the idea. I think Kelly fears that if we ever get over 50% capacity on the DVR, the thing might explode or maybe she thinks a baby seal gets clubbed somewhere... I'm just not sure... but what I do know is that something is getting deleted and something is getting adjusted.... because that's simply unacceptable to Kelly. Now... the problem with that, you say? Well... now my large glorious HDTV is reduced to a small 19" or so viewable portion at the top of the screen. Yep, that's right... this is what I'm viewing:

That little viewable area in the corner is mine. The other 95% of the TV... that's for Kelly to do her DVR maintenance.

It's so bad that Kelly was even deleting stuff off a DVR that we were about to replace the next day (we switched from Verizon FIOS to Dish TurboHD... another story for another day). Even after I pointed out to her the hopelessness of making any changes... she just couldn't help herself.... she had to do her DVR house cleaning... and I got my 19" in the top corner.

Well... anyway I love my wife dearly and if that's all I have to put up with than I'm a blessed man.... and... because of that.... I'm happy to have my minature HDTV viewing corner.

Working Out

"...But, that's neither here nor there..."

If you just heard someone say that... it's a guarantee that you just heard some gossip immediately preceding those words.

For example, "Scott is such a fatty... but, that's neither here nor there..."

Well... I decided I never wanted to give someone the opportunity to say that... so, last week, I decided to start working out. Now, don't get me wrong... I stayed active before. I played softball twice a week and golfed when I could. I also walked to the printer from my desk...sometimes taking several of those trips per day (depending, of course, on my printing needs for that day). That is at least 20 steps.... so, roundtrip, we are talking a solid 40 steps. Multiply that by several trips a day and I must have walked 1/10th a mile or more each day. That's some serious exercise right there. Other than that I would just workout on a schedule that worked for me... that is.. I would just work out when I felt like it. Problem is, it had been about 2 years since I last felt like it.

So, anyway... I joined the Gym. Everyday Fitness in Lansdowne to be exact. It's right on my way to and from work... so, it can mock me as I drive past if I ever lose motivation and stop going. I thought that might help... but.. we'll see... maybe not. Kelly has been going there for a year and a half or so, too... so the negotiating process was pretty painless. Basically, they wanted me to commit for 2 years to get Kelly's price (which she was one of the first to join... so, it's pretty low). I told them I "had questionable dedication and a short attention span" and that I could only commit for one year (really... I said that... I just looked it up on my email to confirm). So, that apparently was enough to get them to back down. One year commitment at Kelly's same rate.... yahoo... once that chore was completed I was well on my way to health and wellness (or whatever buzz word they call it these days).

Alrighty then... so, today was my first day. I didn't want to look stupid and do one of those machines wrong... so, I had decided before I went in that I would run on the treadmill first and watch others and see how they did it. So, I walk in and head straight for the treadmill... I'm quick to get the thing going so that I can start acting like I belong. As I'm running, I remember my sole purpose for doing the treadmill first was so that I could observe.... however, small problem.... treadmill is facing the wall. Well, there went that idea... so I just commit to the treadmill and keep on going. These treadmills have a little TV attached to them... but I could never get mine to work... and, seriously, it was really hard to try to hit those little buttons while running and breathing so hard. So I gave up on that, too.

Once I was done with that, I moved on to the machines and started pumping some serious iron. Okay... so, maybe it wasn't serious. Well, for the most part, I knew how to use the machines... so no worries there.

Upon concluding my workout, I shower and head into work... and start feeling like I'm going to puke. It took me probably one hour to fully recover. I really just wanted to put my head on my desk and take a nap.

Well, I've got to go, because Kelly just made me some brownies to celebrate my first day of working out. Work out, eat brownies.... I just might be on to something.... but... that's neither here nor there.

Collection of Thoughts

Uh Oh... My Daughter's not going to be a vegetarian, is she?: Conversation at the dinner table tonight between Kelly and Reagan (my 5-year old daughter) during a dinner that featured ham:

Reagan: "Where does ham come from?"
Kelly: "From a pig."
Reagan: "I don't like eating animals"
Kelly: "I don't like eating animals, either... but they're yummy."

Reagan, accepting this, then takes a bite of her ham.

Man... dodged a bullet there... Reagan comes from a long line of prolific carnivores and I was worried she would tarnish the Faircloth name. Thankfully... she, too, realized the inherent yumminess of animals.

Facebook: I did it. I succumbed to peer pressure... I signed up for Facebook. I'm oddly obsessed... I'm collecting friends like the old crazy lady down the street is collecting cats. I just can't stop myself. I do feel a sense of satisfaction once a friendship becomes "acknowledged" through facebook... it gives it a sense of officiality. So, if you're reading this and aren't my friend on facebook... time to come on board.... I need more friends.... I feel like I'm in a contest... but can't quite figure out yet with whom..... or how to win for that matter.

New Vacuum Cleaner: It might seem like nothing to blog about... but we got a new vacuum cleaner. However, what I love about Vacuum cleaners is the way with which you can describe it. For example... "this new vacuum SUCKS!" or "Man, this vacuum really SUCKS!" or "This Vacuum SUCKS more than any other vacuum I've ever used." Which, of course, all are complimentary of said vacuum because it's sole job is to, in fact, suck. It's that little bit of irony that I find endlessly entertaining.

Well... that's it for now... time to go digging for more friends on facebook.

Baby Got Back!

A little secret about Kelly. She knows all the words to "Baby Got Back!"...seriously... ask her to sing it to you one day. Now.. I've always hated the urban edge to that song... it just never hit my musical palate. The words... now.. the words were just so impactful and spoke to me... I mean, seriously... "I want 'em real thick and juicy" has to be on a lyrical par with the great songs of the last century, such as "Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away." Well... now finally someone has come along and put those masterful words to a more folksy-style of music that I am accustomed to hearing. Enjoy!

Josh Hamilton is Good

I know... 2 blogs in one night... crazy. Anyway.... so, I'm watching the Home Run Derby on ESPN and Josh Hamilton just unloaded on the ball and hit 28 home runs in one round. Now, these were not just frozen ropes that barely made it over the right field wall. THEY WERE BOMBS!!!! Several of them were over 500 feet. I can't fathom that kind of power. It was fun to watch.

So, the announcers keep alluding to how he overcame drug abuse and woke up one day and decided to turn his life around. I sensed something greater was going on, however, since one of the announcers was Chris "F-Bomb" Berman who wouldn't know the spiritual side to a story if it slammed him in the face. So, since, I had never heard Hamilton's full-story before... I google him... and it turns out he has an amazing personal testimony on how the grace of Jesus Christ impacted his life. It's really a wonderful story. You can google it, as I did... or check out this ESPN article here.

Epilogue: Josh Hamilton didn't end up winning.... he was clearly fatigued from bombing so many in the first round and the goofy Home Run Derby rules don't let the homers carry over from round to round. Still... the 28 he hit was the best display of hitting I've seen since Kelly and I saw Mark McGwire take batting practice before a Reds game one year (maybe 2000?)...

Good Stuff Eatery

I've now been in DC nearly 3 years.... and in those 3 years, I have had some great meals at some really nice restaurants (usually... well... almost always on someone else's dime). Capital Grille, Charlie Palmer's, Willow Creek Farm, Tuscarora Mill and Vidalia's are all some of better ones I've enjoyed. But, really, when push comes to shove... I'd really just like a great burger... and that's one reason I was excited to eat at Good Stuff Eatery this week.

Well, that's kind of a lie... I'm also a pop-culture addict and really went to this place because it's Spike Mendelson's new place. For those that don't know, Spike was (is) the fedora wearing chef from the reality TV show Top Chef... which... thankfully, I've already previously admitted to watching. Not ringing a bell? It's this guy:

So, anyway... here's the details of my visit. First off... get there early. We got there at 11:30 and the line was already snaked around the building. For those that know the Capitol Hill area, Good Stuff Eatery is on the same block as The Tune Inn and the Hawk n' Dove... just next to the Cosi... 303 Pennsylvania Ave, SE, to be exact. And for those that like to indulge their pop-culture leanings... yes, Spike is there... on-site... live and in-person.

So, even though we got there early... we still waited about 20 minutes just to get in the door. Well, wait was worth it because the burger I got was Ridddicccky-iculously good... that's really all you need to know. Ya.. it was that good. Messy.. just the way a burger should be... piled with an artery-clogging load of bacon. The name of the burger I got was the "Big Stuff Bacon Meltdown"... sounds good, doesn't it. Anyway, you can view the rest of the menu here... check it out... it's worth the wait.

Faircloth '08?

This is troubling... for those that have closely followed my career (ok... so, that's only Kelly)... I was recently quoted in an article for "Politics Magazine" and also got a cover story in "Winning Campaigns" magazine... certainly you read those right? Well, someone apparently did and were really impressed. Perhaps it they thought my article on Cost-cutting techniques for their campaign was very Presidential. I'm just not sure. Now, I come into work today and see this... which has really got me worried:

Golf Pictures

Here is Scott in his golf tournament uniform. Doesn't he look official? (and hot!)