The Impossibility of Driving 3 Females to DC

Early on in my "career" I received a call from a producer at NBC with a generous offer for me to appear on Hardball with Chris Matthews. Being extremely distrustful of the mainstream media and Chris Matthews, in particular, I graciously (and smartly) ignored the calls until they went away (which in our "microwave" news cycle took only about 15 minutes). I knew full well that I was ill-equipped to face the firing squad on an issue that I was not prepared to defend, let alone an issue that I felt passionately about (I'll spare you the details). And I'm not alone in my distrust of the media -- the ratings dominance of FoxNews is pretty telling in on that note.

However, even with the emergence of "Conservative" media in the last decade, the liberal media bias is still in full swing. Thankfully, there is one organization in Washington that inventories all of the instances of liberal bias and reminds me time and time again that despite the gains of the last decade... the fight isn't over. That group is the Media Research Center.

The best thing about MRC is that each year they have a "Dis-Honors" award ceremony that pokes fun at some of the more blatant biases of the media. Here is an example of one of the awards:

Well, anyway... Kelly and I had the privilege of attending this event for the 2nd time since our arrival in DC -- and I can say... unequivocally... that this is the best "dinner" event in town. And, I've been to my fair share of these things over the last 8 years. Kelly, by the way, was smokin' hot. The most beautiful woman in the room, by far. Now, keep in mind, she just had a baby 4 months ago... didn't matter one bit... still smokin'. People are going to start wondering why she married a bum like me. Here's a picture of us before we headed out:

OK... so I shouldn't go into too many details because I, by necessity, have to keep work out of this blog as much as possible.... and this dinner certainly blurs the lines between work and home. Anyway.... it was a fun night... the only information worth reporting was on the drive there... and here's the revelation I had from that:

IT IS HUMANLY IMPOSSIBLE TO KEEP 3 WOMEN HAPPY ON A DRIVE INTO DC!!!!

Here's the story: Kelly, of course, rode with me... but I also took my boss's wife and another co-worker -- all females. Big mistake. First, I'll address my boss's wife.... other than dealing with the obvious stress of driving your boss's wife (you know of ensuring she arrives all in one piece) -- she was NO problem at all. No complaints... received nothing but encouragement from her.

Secondly, there was Kelly. Kelly gets chronically car sick. Well, we get right into the heart of DC when Kelly decides she can't take it anymore and is going to barf. She asked me to pull over. Well, problem is... duh.... we are in the heart of DC and there isn't exactly many places to pull over. She literally wants me to pull over in the middle of traffic and switch seats with her so that she can drive. Well, anyway... I manage to find a spot to pull over and we switch seats and Kelly drives us the rest of the way (a couple of miles). Except, without me there, Kelly would have been honked at and barked at and ran so many red lights it would have been ridiculous. That was the most stressful part for me... but, at least, she didn't barf on her dress.

Lastly, there was my other co-worker. I'll leave out her name to protect the innocent. She was the worst back seat drive I have EVER encountered. I have suspended her from future rides in the Blue Patriot... she is officially persona non grata. She must earn my trust back.... Until then... no more rides is my luxury Ford Fusion. Let it be known right here and now... back seat drivers need not apply for rides in the Faircloth Fusion.

OK... so, that's it for now... poke around on the video website above if you want to see more about the dinner. It was fun and you might find some of the awards entertaining.